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اول، لما جيت لهنا، انا خافت. انا خافت لما واحد يحكيني، بعض بخاف، بعدين هو حكيني بلطف، بعدين انا حكيت معه. كتير انا حبيتهم، الامريكان، كثير
When I first came here, I was afraid.
I was afraid when people spoke to me.
But when they spoke kindly, I grew less afraid, and I would speak back. Now, I love my American friends…
Hana is originally from Syria where she lived with her family. In 2012, she and her husband and children fled to Jordan to escape the war. They resettled in the United States in 2016. Hana, her husband Ekram, and their four children live in Maryland, where Ekram works as an auto mechanic, Hana stays at home with her youngest daughter, and the older three children attend their local public school. Hana and Ekram are studying for the U.S. citizenship exam.
We left Syria in 2012. First, we settled in Jordan, where we stayed for five years. Then in 2016, we came to the United States, to this neighborhood, where we have stayed ever since. An organization called ACDC helped us — a woman met us at the airport, along with a translator from Iraq. They knew us right away from our many suitcases.
Neither I nor my husband could speak any English when we first arrived.
The woman and the translator brought us to this neighborhood and to our apartment. ACDC assisted us for three months.
Ekram was not working during this time, but he was looking for a job — any kind of job. Meanwhile, he took English classes. While attending these classes, he received money every month. When he stopped attending school and began to work, the money stopped. He took classes for two months. In those classes, he met an Arabic man whose brother was a car mechanic. He invited Ekram to work with him, and he took the job so that he could pay another three months rent.
I also went to this same school for two months. Then I left to take care of my children. While in class I would have to leave my children home alone. They would stay by the door of the apartment waiting for me to return. I was afraid for them, so I stopped going to class and wanted to find someone to come to the house to tutor me.
ACDC enrolled the children in school as soon as we arrived. Every day, someone would come to the house to take the children to school.
When we first arrived in the neighborhood, we didn’t know anyone. For five days, we thought we were all alone. Then after a week, ACDC told us that there was another Syrian family nearby. After that, ACDC told me about every family that moved to the neighborhood so that I could get in contact with them.
I love this neighborhood. I have made lots of friends. We go shopping together. One speaks French, one is an Afghan woman, one is a woman from Sudan, and there are a few from Syria — twenty families in all — but some have moved outside of the neighborhood now. All of us were refugees, including some from Jordan, Egypt and two from Turkey.
I last saw my brother seven years ago in Jordan — now he lives in Germany — but I have not seen the rest of my family since we were all in Syria together ten years ago. I have no family in America.
School was very hard for the children at first. They could not communicate with the other American children. There were a lot of Syrian kids, however, and they would speak in Arabic with them to make them feel at home.
But then I told them that they wouldn’t learn anything if they kept speaking in Arabic. They had to learn English. So they listened to me and started practicing English so they could learn alongside the other children. They learned slowly at first, but now they speak English well.
The organization sent us two friends — a man and a woman — to tutor the kids and myself.
My children really like school now. Every time they go on vacation, they miss their teachers and friends.
School was very hard when it was online, however. We didn’t have a great internet connection, but then the school gave us WiFi, and that helped. After a while, my children got used to online school, and they benefited from it.
I want to work, but I have young children. I regret that I left school when I did, but I was pregnant with my youngest child. In sha Allah I could go back one day. People who stayed in school received money, and I would have continued earning money and could have put my daughter in the school with me. But because I was pregnant and because we moved apartments I couldn't return.
I used to go twice a week to the library where I could take English classes through a church community. I loved those classes. But now because of Covid the classes are online.
I must have learned a lot of English, because when I went to the hospital with my daughter, I could understand the nurse and doctor. When I take my kids to school, I can understand the teachers. Even street signs and directions — I can understand those too. In the past, I couldn’t understand my French and Afghan neighbors. I took French long ago, but I can only speak a few words. But now that we all speak English, we understand each other. So when their children play with my children or when neighbors come to the door asking for things, I understand anything they say.
When we arrived, I did not know any English. I was surprised and dismayed to discover that I had to speak in English 24/7. It took me a long time, but I have enjoyed the process of learning English. I was happy when I got to a point where I could speak more easily. Also, I had Arabic-speaking neighbors, and we would practice English together because we were so eager to learn.
This country is very different from everything I knew. It was a huge transition from Jordan to America. My first few months here, I was depressed, and my children were unhappy because I was depressed. But after my children began learning at school, they were happy, and they told me that they want to stay in America.
I was shocked by how organized everything is. People are very organized. Everyone is on time all the time, and there are rules that people follow. If you arrive at the hospital early, for example, you can’t enter yet. You have to be right on time. But in America, if I saw, “I’m sorry for being late,” people say, “Okay, no problem.” But in an Arab country, they’d say, “No, why? Get out!” They don’t care. Here, they accept apologies.
If I went back to an Arab country, I wouldn’t be able to adjust. I’ve gotten used to being on time.
We bought masks and hand sanitizer, and sometimes we would use chlorine when it was hard to find hand sanitizer or Clorox wipes. But the chlorine would burn my hands. I wore gloves sometimes because of my hands.
We had no problem getting vaccines, although we waited at first because we were afraid. We watched other people we knew who got it to see what would happen to them. My husband asked people who had already been vaccinated, and they said they were fine, so we made an appointment and got the vaccine. We didn’t have any problems, other than being afraid. My two oldest children also received the vaccine.
During Covid, the children were going to school two days a week — Mondays and Tuesdays — at first. But after a while, we decided to keep them at home. The children had allergies, and the hand sanitizers and masks irritated them. So they decided everyone should stay home so they wouldn’t have to use them.
Hospitality is the same for me; and it was the same in Jordan. When people come over, I make a lot of food for them.
I have the habit of feeding people.
My concept of hospitality is to feed people well.
When I know someone is coming, I say to myself, “What should I make them?” When I know that someone is coming tomorrow, I like to make their favorite food to make them happy, and I am happy when they are happy and eat well.
In America, there are some who are hospitable, others not so much.
When I go somewhere, people want to be hospitable, but they don’t know what to serve me. Cultural differences can sometimes make hospitality complicated.
One family in particular has been very hospitable. They were the first family we got to know after we came to America, and now they feel like family. When we visit, it feels like we are going to see our family. I always bring them food. When I know that they are coming to visit, I plan for days in advance what I will cook for them. It makes me happy to see them.
There are lots of American families who are kind to us. At first, we always needed a translator to help us converse with other families. But now the children can translate for us. I want my children to get used to American culture and interactions with people.
When I first came here, I was afraid. I was afraid when people spoke to me. But when they spoke kindly, I grew less afraid, and I would speak back. Now, I love my American friends…
At the beginning, people would speak too fast. My face must have shown my distress, because they said, “Sorry, we’ll speak slower.” When I went to the hospital, to the mall, people would help me. I love the Americans.
My concept of hospitality is to feed people well.
I have been here five years now, and I am applying for citizenship. I have to study for the citizenship exam. But I have to know English to take the test. The test is a barrier for me. I have an appointment to take the exam, but I am very afraid. I heard that the application is very hard. I have a Syrian friend who took it, and that friend told me that the questions are very hard.
I study on my phone, on YouTube. I searched “How to pass the citizenship exam.”
There’s a man named Amir Ali who is a YouTuber and who speaks in Arabic and English. He runs through the questions in both languages, and I’m memorizing everything.
I made an appointment to take the test before COVID, but I had to cancel it. I’ve applied to take the test later.
Hana: “Is there anything else you’d like to ask me?”
Me: “I think that is everything!”
Hana: "عادي. Sit tight while I make tea.”